Thursday, November 22, 2007

Beyond Forgetting

This is one of my most favorite poem. It is deep. It is very meaningful. I want to share it to you hoping you will like it too just as much as i do.

For a moment I thought I could forget you.
For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart.
I thought the past could no longer haunt me—nor hurt me.
How wrong I was! For the past, no matter how distant,
is as much a part of me as life itself.
And you are part of that life.

You are so much a part of me—of my dreams, my early hopes,
my youth and my ambitions—that in all my tasks I can’t help remembering you.
Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings?
Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face,
be lost among the deepening shadows? I have wanted to be alone.
I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song...
And yet I remembered.

For who could forget the memory of the once lovely,
the once happy world such as ours? I came because the song that I kept
through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you.
The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune,
because you and I had been one.

I have wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.
Can’t you understand?
Can’t you divine the depth and the tenderness of my feelings towards you?
Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference.
But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart.
How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone?
But, perhaps, you didn’t understand... Remember,

I came because the gnawing loneliness is there and
will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is heard,
until the silence is understood, until you come to me again.
For you alone can blend the music and memory into one consuming ecstasy.

You alone...


joveginny said...

... indeed, it is beyond forgetting!!!

a filipino poetess wrote a poem in response to carbonell's. do you know or anyone of your friends remember it. if you do could you print it in your blog? a million thanks.

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Anonymous said...

(An answer to “Beyond Forgetting”)

I knew, beloved, that you cannot forget, perhaps, you were sincere when you bade me your last adieu. Yes, for you thought you could do it.

But I knew more than you tha we were one, that time interwove us like two fibers. And if one must die, the other will disintergrate into nothingness.

You thought you could be alone. I knew you could never be. For the memory of me would hurt you like the wind which blows on a fresh wound…

I knew that when you walk alone, you would not really be alone. For my spirit would forever linger around you…communing with you wherever you go.

In songs I knew you would remember me…For every note would vibrate my name into the air…and yours. In silence, my dear, never could you drown the memory of me. For silence, is I, myself.

Yes, I understand. I have always understood. I never mistook for a fault an indifferent thing in you. I knew, beloved, that I wanted not your faults, but you. Even if you hurt my feelings I’d still remember you.

If ever I went away, it was not because I misunderstood you. It was only because I wanted you to realize that you cannot forget me. It was because I was all the while in your sight that you never thought you could lose me. Now that you are alone, now that I am gone, you are awakened from your sleep.

I knew, beloved, that you cannot forget. Perhaps you were sincere when you bade me your last adieu. Yes, for you thought you could do it.

But I knew you would realized that…I alone can blend music and memory into one consuming ecstacy… I alone… becaus I love YOu.

- Adelaida B. Florendo -

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